Hello, and welcome to the new segment on Spunmonkey called CatChat, with Luna and Morris. Today we’re going to get to know Luna and Morris a little better, because they’ll be regularly reporting here on Spunmonkey.com.
SM.com: Hello Luna and Morris. We’re so glad to have you here today, and contributing to Spunmonkey.com.
Luna: Like, it’s totally rad that we’re here.
Morris: Dude. Are you gonna feed us?
SM.com: Yes Morris, just after we finish chatting.
Morris: OK. You promise? I’m hungry. I’m always hungry. *sniff sniff*
SM.com: Yes Morris. I promise. Now, Luna, perhaps you could tell the readers how you came to live in the SM household?
Luna: OK so like, I was living outside, and it was really cold, but, like, I got to play a lot. OK so one day I was trying to climb a tree, but I had to climb a fence first, and I was perched at the top of the fence, cause like, duh, who doesn’t like to perch, and this nice lady came and got me.
SM.com: Sounds like perching on a fence would be scary, were you scared?
Luna: Who, me? Like, lolz, no way! (um. yes. a little. shh.) I love high places! OK anyway, so I lived with this lady, and her TomCat, and a very fat boy cat named Hammy, and a mean old codger named Jaws for a while.
SM.com: Did you like Hammy and Jaws?
Luna: So like, it’s complicated. I played with Hammy sometimes but it took a while to not be scared of him. He’s so fat! lolz! Jaws was just mean, no cat likes him. But yeah, so I stayed in that house for a long time, like a gazillion years-
SM.com: Um Luna, I think it was one year…
Luna: OK yeah, whatever. Anyway, so then after I was all healthy and happy and I got snipped and clipped my foster Mom and her TomCat decided it was time for me to move on to my forever home. So they put up a piece of paper in the big room where my current Mom and TomCat buy the food and my current Mom called the same day. She said I was sooooo pretty, like, duh, And I didn’t need to be snipped and clipped, of course cause I’m so perfect already, that she and TomCat came and got me the same day!
SM.com: And Morris, how did you come to live with your Mom and TomCat and Luna?
Morris: Ayyyyyyyeeeeee!!!!!! Hiyah! I karate chop youuu!
SM.com: Morris? hello? I’ll give you a nice piece of cat candy if you’ll answer me!
Morris: Oh fine. So Mom and TomCat were shopping for Luna’s grub and saw me at the animal store and TomCat wanted me real bad cause I was tiny and black and cute so they hadoptered me and took me home and fed me lots and now I’m big and vicious! HIYAAAA!
SM.com: So where were you before you went to live with your Mom and TomCat?
Morris: OK so I was lost with my brothers and sisters, Mama couldn’t find us, but this huuuuuge man picked us all up and took us to this place full of animals and he thought I was SOOOO cute that he couldn’t put me in the killing room *shudderrrrr* so he called this nice lady and she came and got me and took me home and fed me lots then took me to the food place for Moms and TomCats to look at me. But I’m so handsome I didn’t have to stay there long!
SM.com: So Luna and Morris, do you guys have any hobbies?
Luna: Um, well, so like, I like to watch. A lot. And sit with Mom, and sometimes if I’m really bored I break the rules just for fun. Like walking on the eating table, and chewing on cables. Yummy cables!
Morris: I’m a ninja!!! I run and run and run and attack invisbible bad cats and I jump on Luna (she doesn’t like that). And I eat! I love to eat! Eat eat eat! Are you gonna feed us now?
SM.com: Soon Morris, soon. So Luna, do you like Morris?
Luna: Um, dude, get real. He’s an annoying little rat monkey! He attacks me all the time for no good reason, my blood pressure is through the roof, and I don’t even have time to talk to my girlfriend cats on the phone anymore! And when I try to call them he takes my kittyphone and smashes it! He’s such a stupid boy.
SM.com: So Morris, do you like living here in the house?
Morris: I LUVS it! It’s so warm and cosy and there’s so much stuff to break! And all I have to do if I want to play with Mommy is break something and let her chase me allllll around and around and around hahahahahahah and there’s always food and water and loads of toys and it’s never cold and I always have Luna to talk to.
SM.com: So do you two have anything in common? Are you actually friends?
Luna: Dude. I can like, for 100% certain say, without a doubt, we are NOT friends! But I think it’s easier to let Morris do what he wants within reason. I mean, he’s gonna do it anyway so I just try to stay out of his way. He really REALLY pisses me off though when he jumps on me. Not cool man, NOT COOL.
Morris: Food? Now?
SM.com: Yes Morris, just one more question. Where did your names come from?
Morris: OK realz fast cause I’m HUNGRY Luna’s called that cause she has a white tummy but everywhere else she’s all black and TomCat wanted to call me Morris, and Mom wanted to call me something clever, so they decided together to call me Morris Blackadder III I think Blackadder is a funny show or something. Whatever. I am SUPER-MORRISSSSSS!!! HEEEEEYAAAAAA!
SM.com: Well thanks Morris and Luna, I’m sure the readers will be happy to hear from your interesting perspectives in the future.
Morris: Give me food now or die.
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